


Filthy Secrets

by dreamyloner



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, PWP without Porn, Sexual Coercion, Sexual Fantasy, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:51:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5277356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamyloner/pseuds/dreamyloner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which America reveals his dirty little secret. He loves acting vulnerable around certain someone. He so loves being dominated by Russia and ruined by China. He is a masochist to the core. And when the other two know this, they aren't going easy on him. </p><p>WARNING: smut, PWP, implied threesome, violence.<br/>Pairing: RusAmeChu. Russia x America x China.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Filthy Secrets

_The concrete cracked as he was shoved ruthlessly against the wall. Pain shot up his spine. He stifled a whine and glared at his foe._

_He loathed being so vulnerable when he could have retaliated gallantly without any ado._

_And yet, he indulged in this absurd sensation of being exploited and dominated._

_It was a hideous secret he could never reveal to the whole world._

_Those amethyst orbs glittered in the dark._

_Alfred glowered back and for a long moment, silence took the reign as they waged a staring war._

_Eventually, it was Ivan who spoke. He pinned the American harder against the wall and growled, "My, my, you seriously think that we are oblivious idiots all this time, don't you?"_

_"_ _I don't know what you're talkin' about." America scowled and wiggled out of the other's grip._

_Russia clutched those wrists again and pinned them above Alfred's head, successfully trapping him in the corner._

_"_ _Then I'll be blunt here," Ivan snarled. "Why are you stalking us?"_

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _You know well what I'm talking about. You've been targeting China for some time now. Don't think we haven't noticed your ulterior motive. Do you honestly have no shame at all. Are you begging for more money?"_

 _"_ _I do not understand what you're saying!"_

**_BANG!_ **

_Alfred gritted his teeth. His head crushed loudly against the wall. Blood slowly crawled down his forehead, tainting his creamy face._

_"_ _I guess someone is asking for a lesson, da. You're as obnoxious as ever, America. Do you only know to lie in front of me? Haven't changed a bit since I left you in ruins, eh?" Ivan smiled, leaning in to lick off the dribbling crimson mess. It always tasted succulent._

 _"_ _I told you. I have no fucking idea what you're-"_

_The speech was interrupted sharply by a rough kiss. Alfred shuddered. Blood oozed down to his chin. Still, he had no incentive to fight back. The brutality was something worth basking in. It had been years; no, decades since Ivan last kissed him like this. Back when they were on the opposite ends of the great cold war, they used to invade one another every day and night; with no shame whatsoever._

_The Russian nibbled hard, drawing and sucking the appetizing blood from the other man. He watched the blond quiver relentlessly at his intrusion. The sight was extremely mesmerizing; so alluring it fueled him with energy._

_"_ _Fuck you, bastard!" The insult came swiftly after they withdrew from each other._

 _"_ _How sweet." Russia grinned widely at his toy. "And I thought you were reminiscing. Doesn't it remind you of anything? You seem to be enjoying this. Miss me much, da?"_

 _"_ _Shut up. No one is missing you! You should just-ah!"_

_The Russian bit the neck hard, vowing to blemish the pale, porcelain skin. The blond moaned, something he thought he wouldn't be capable of doing in front of his nemesis. The pain was sharp but it was also coupled with something else. The guilty pleasure enveloped his senses, threatening to corrupt his conscience._

_"_ _Please…stop it."_

 _"_ _Faltering already?" Ivan smirked, tracing his tongue around the scarlet liquid. "Don't you miss the days we were together? Have you even done it with someone else after I LEFT you?"_

 _"_ _Get lost! Go mess with someone else you psycho!"_

 _"_ _I_   _see. Being resistant and difficult again, aren't you?" Ivan tilted his head. "Seems like you're craving for more."_

_The Russian skillfully crushed the tent with his knee, causing the blond to whimper loudly. "You're aroused."_

_"_ _Shut up!"_

 _"_ _You aren't getting anything if you don't tell me the truth." The Russian closed in, a baleful aura surrounding him._

 _"_ _I have no truth to tell!"_

 _"_ _You will suffer so very slowly oh America."_

_The blond hushed and clenched his eyes. Ivan slammed his knee harder against the bulge. Alfred gasped, his legs hobbling as the combination of pain and pleasure subsumed his body._

_He so hated this side of his._

_He hated being vulnerable when he could be strong._

_"_ _Now tell me, what is your intention? What are you aiming for my Yao-Yao?"_

_Alfred grimaced at the way Russia addressed his southern neighbor. Jealousy started devouring his heart. Oh, how dare he call China his Yao-Yao!_

_"What? Can't I even make friends with_ _**your** _ _Yao-Yao?" Alfred snickered._

 _"_ _No, you are not aiming for simple friendship!" Ivan roared, slapping the blond across the face. Alfred stumbled back, his cheek swollen and bleeding from the blow._

_"True. I'm actually seeking something more sophisticated. Ya know, bond-forming and diplomacy perhaps? Or maybe-"_

_"_ _No you're not just going for diplomacy, you capitalist pig!"_

_Grabbing the other's collars, Russia yanked the blond up and crushed him against the wall. "I can see that glint in your eyes. You dirty pervert. You're yearning for his body, aren't you? You sicko."_

_America frowned at the accusation. He felt his heart sink with the debasing insult. It kind of hurt but well, what did he expect? Russia would never give him any sweet, fluffy talks. Nah, he wouldn't act that way towards Ivan either. Between them, there could only exist grudge-driven lust and quarrel. Nothing more._

_"_ _What do you plan on doing to my Yao-Yao?!" Russia interrogated again, tightening his grip around the blond. His hands snaked around America's throat, ready to strangle him._

 _"_ _Teh_ _, how dramatic. Is he your property or something? Or are you his pet?"_

 _"_ _You filthy piece of trash!" Russia howled, shoving the blond violently onto the floor. "You know what, things as disgraceful and unsightly like you shouldn't even exist in this world. The mere sight of you makes me sick."_

 _"_ _My pleasure." America smiled, though his façade failed to hide the hurt buried deep within._

 _"_ _If you try anything on China, I will not spare you."_

 _"_ _Are you jealous? Or are you simply rejected by him?" America stood up and jammed his hands into his pocket casually._

 _"_ _YOU-"_

 _"_ _Enough aru."_

_Alfred froze as the silhouette from behind the curtains gradually came into sight. The Chinese man cocked his brows with a curious smile, his arms folded neatly before his chest._

_"_ _China?" America gasped, scowling at the approaching figure in caution._

 _"_ _Enough Ivan. I don't want our toy broken before use." Yao grinned serenely at the blond, cupping his cheeks in amusement._

 _"_ _Are you sure you want this, Yao?" Ivan asked, squinting gingerly at the Chinese man._

 _"_ _Why, how could you act so volatile to this adorable child?" Yao feigned a pout. "Look what you've done, Ivan. He's got scratches all over his pretty face aru."_

 _"_ _What is the meaning of this, China?" Alfred growled, cringing from the uncomfortable caress. He had never been exposed to this side of the Asian country. Yao's new demeanor was exceptionally intimidating._

 _"_ _What? Aren't you the one who wants me aru?" China asked with his innocent eyes. "Someone's been flattering me excessively and stalking me lately. I'm surprised it isn't Russia. Do you fancy me that much, Al?"_

 _"_ _Wh-What…no!"_

 _"_ _Backing down now. Aren't you a coward? Or just a masochist?" China giggled, covering his mouth elegantly with his sleeve. "So Ivan was telling the truth then when he said you secretly LOVE being dominated and fucked senseless."_

 _"_ _I DO NOT!" America blushed immensely and retorted, but it was a little too late for the Chinese man to decipher. Clasping his cheeks firmly, Yao crushed his lips against America's._

 _"_ _I can taste Ivan on your lips aru." China glimpsed the Russian cunningly and chuckled, "Whatever you guys have been doing behind my back. You look so tantalizing when you're flustered, America."_

 _"_ _C-China…" America gulped, still feeling perplexed after the abrupt kiss._

 _"_ _No need to act so stiff. Relax. You must be straining yourself too much."_

_China licked his lips in anticipation and shot Ivan a delighted expression. "How about having some fun together aru?"_

_"_ _What a good idea, Yao." Russia smiled elatedly and proceeded to grab America's wrists._

 _"_ _What the fuck are you doing! Let go- hey China!"_

_Before Alfred could protest, his belt was unbuckled and his pants were tugged down faster than he could catch his breath. Eager was the Chinese man in front of him. He prodded the bulge in fascination before wrapping his refined, small hand around the length._

_"_ _S-Stop it…Yao!" Alfred groaned, his arousal growing bigger as the Asian started stroking it skillfully._

 _"_ _You're cuter than I thought aru." China sneered, enclosing the head with his mouth. The sudden hotness and wetness overwhelmed the blond, causing him to gasp and moan aloud._

 _"_ _Don't forget I'm here," Russia whispered into Alfred's ears, biting down his earlobe._

 _"_ _Damn it! You guys…stop-"_

 _"_ _Is this really what you want?" China ceased his deed and asked. The unexpected pause made Alfred whine painfully in frustration. By then, his thing was standing tall and itching for attention._

 _"_ _N-No…I…"_

 _"_ _No need to restrain yourself, young lad," China smiled and stood back up. "As someone so much older than all of you, I feel inclined to teach you a valuable lesson aru."_

 _"_ _What do you want?"_

 _"_ _I'll be asking you the same question, America." China grinned, fondling the cheeks tenderly. "What exactly do you yearn from us two? Name it and we'll make you ever so contented you'll be thinking it's bliss to be living in this world."_

 _"_ _You're treating him too well, Yao-Yao." Ivan laughed. "This swine doesn't need any of your care."_

 _"_ _Uh uh, you've always been doing it wrong, Ivan. Precious things should be treated with care," China wadded his fingers and snorted._

 _"_ _Have I?"_

 _"_ _But must I say, I did enjoy very much the foreplay between you two. It's making me ever so lively," Yao beamed._

 _"_ _I knew it! You guys set this up! Commie bastards!"_

 _"_ _Woah_ _, look at the language you're using." Yao shook his head in dismay. "How has England been nurturing you? I bet he can't even do a thing right. Just take a look at what a naughty child he's brought up. You're being extremely bad and dishonest, America."_

 _"_ _I told you he's too much of a disgrace for your honor, China," Russia said._

 _"_ _It's alright aru. We'll just have to teach him in England's place." China smiled and beckoned to Ivan. The Russian nodded and tied Alfred's hands with his scarf._

 _"_ _What're you doing? Damn it! Let go of my hands! You aren't getting away with this, I swear! YOU FUCKING CREEPS! You two are insane!"_

 _"_ _Now, now, if you don't want me to smash your face with this pipe, keep your mouth shut," Ivan whispered into America's ears. Before the blond could snap back, he took off his glove and shoved three fingers into his mouth, effectively shushing him._

_China stood back and admired the shivering body. With a callous kick, Russia brought the blond down on his knees. After deeming them wet enough, Ivan withdrew his fingers from the wet cavern and rubbed them at America's entrance._

_"_ _No! Stop-hmmph!"_

_Yao shushed the blond with yet another passionate kiss, taking and chucking away Texas in the process. Alfred blinked in astonishment, his vision slightly blurred from the loss of his glasses. Suddenly, he felt an intrusion in his rear. He squirmed uncontrollably and groaned into the kiss, fighting the urge to sob in front of his two tormentors._

_The fingers delved deeper into the hole, stretching the tight muscles without mercy. Alfred moaned, feeling ever so powerless and sex deprived. He couldn't recall the last time he had engaged in sex like this with anyone; let alone nations. He had always loved it rough and Russia knew just the way to satiate his dirty needs._

_"_ _You're making such lovely noises aru. Wish I could have found you earlier." China smiled, showering the blond with kisses and nips. "Tell you what, if you like it rough, I can always grant your wish."_

_America widened his eyes incredulously, agape. And all this time, he had thought that China was a bottom! How naïve was he!_

_As if he was able to penetrate Alfred's thoughts, Yao tittered._

_"_ _You're so ignorant aru. You don't think I earned my mighty title for nothing, do you? I was conquering the world way before you were even born, young boy."_

_The blond scowled indignantly at the Chinese. How dare he scorn him!_

_But never could he deny the truth. He had always adored the older nation, fantasizing and dreaming of taking him for quite a while. Things just went a bit astray as now he was the one being taken._

_Alfred grunted as the fingers left his rear. Yao took Ivan's place and readied himself at the prepared slit. The Russian strode to the front and undid his own pants, showing the blond his twitching shaft._

_"_ _W-Wait, Yao-"_

 _The Chinese man didn't wait before ramming into the blond. At once, he had to marvel at the wondrous tightness and warmth encasing him. He had never thought it would feel so fabulous being inside of America. The land sure was stunning. Every inch of his skin sparkled in a striking manner. That was also the reason why he named him_ _**Mĕiguó** _ _._

 _"_ _Fuck, it hurts! Damn it!"_

_Tears threatened to prickle the rims of his eyes. The blond swallowed his weeps and concentrated on the pleasure yet to be brought by the penetration. Yao didn't lie when he said he had millenniums of great experience. He found the spot right after one single thrust._

_"_ _Ah!" the blond moaned, never feeling so full before. The Asian was able to go even rougher than Ivan; something which Alfred had never envisioned._

_Yao was unpredictably strong and tenacious. His thrusts were skilful and they always slammed Alfred's prostate with great strength, causing the blond to mewl and plead for more._

_Reckoning he was wallowing too much in their play, Russia shoved his length down the open mouth, filling America's other hole._

_The two moved in sync, with one pulling out while the other pounding in. The pleasure soon overtook the pain and the blond found himself plummeting deeper into this horrendous abyss._

_He hated the fact that he was being dominated._

_And yet, he loved the feeling of it; every bit of it._

_He had been yearning for this to happen and he knew well what he was looking for. He had always wanted to be tackled and ruined by these two nations; the only two nations that were able to bring him down to his knees and beg unreservedly for feral desires._

_Alfred quavered as he felt Yao's lips on his back. The Chinese man savored his hypersensitive skin meticulously, licking every possible spot that could arouse the American. The sudden pinch on his nipples made his legs wobble. He gagged at Ivan's swelling length inside his mouth. The Russian wrenched chunks of his hair and shoved his rod deeper down his throat. The blond almost choked. A second later, his rear was bombarded by a bizarre feeling. China blurted out a moan as he reached his peak, releasing his glop inside the blond. Alfred widened his eyes as sticky cream filled his mouth and traveled down his throat. The Russian refused to pull out until he swallowed the load._

_Panting, the blond collapsed to the ground, his own arousal twitching violently in orgasm._

_Flipping his body over, Russia switched positions with his lover and smiled down at the blond._

_"Da, spent already? We aren't done yet~"_

_Yao seized the chance to kiss the blond, tasting the cum left by the Russian._

_"_ _I guarantee you, this is going to feel even better aru," China reassured. Half grasping what he meant, America wanted to protest but the promise of greater pleasure dissuaded him to do so. He let the Russian lift him up onto his lap and entered him. He gasped at the hugeness, almost forgetting the fact that Ivan was big. Spreading his legs carefully, Yao forced his way into the already occupied hole. The blond yapped in sheer agony but refrained from beseeching. Wrapping his arms around China, he burrowed his face into Yao's crook of neck._

 _"_ _Sh…relax aru. Or it's just gonna hurt more," the comforting voice continued. The blond shut his eyes and loosen his muscles. Yao managed to go all the way in. He exchanged a glance with Ivan. Both nodded with a smile before they began to move. The blond couldn't stop shrieking in agony at first. The penetration of two lengths was unendurable enough to send him writhing. The pain dazed him and since there was no stopping it, he could only cling to the Chinese man hopelessly as his back slouched against the broad chest of the Russian._

_The duo found his spot in no time, assaulting it repeatedly to make him screech in unbearable pleasure. The ecstasy, accompanied by intense pain, was sufficient to send him over the edge. It was the best sex he had ever had._

_"_ _A-Ah…ah…please…" he moaned out each word between thrusts._

 _"_ _Please what?" Yao smiled, ramming into the blond erratically. If he had to be frank, he would admit fucking the blond was even more thrilling than tackling the Russian in bed. He wouldn't say this aloud, of course, for fear that Ivan would be so disappointed that he would probably sulk and mope for a mouth._

 _"_ _Touch me….make me…come."_

 _"_ _You aren't coming until we do," Russia said._

_China was a bit kinder. He only kissed the blond warmly and started touching his Florida._

_"_ _Like this?" Yao asked, relishing in the mess he was creating._

 _"_ _Y-Yeah…keep doing that…it feels good," Alfred stuttered and leaned against Ivan. The Chinese man nodded and started picking up his pace, stroking America while trusting in and out of him fast._

_Alfred moaned, filling the room with shameless cries and yells of pleasure. The other two never stopped. They kept violating the blond until he squeaked for release. They flooded him with their spunk, kissing Alfred in spontaneity- Yao on his lips and Ivan on the back of his neck. With a lecherous yelp, America came and collapsed languidly, panting in fatigue. Yao broke the kiss and smirked. Swiftly exchanging a seductive stare with Ivan, the two dove in to kiss each other. They only separated as they pulled out of the blond together._

_Alfred whined in the after pain, feeling utterly boneless and exhausted. Shuffles of footsteps from the distance could be heard. The three nations sprang up in alert._

_Quickly, they gathered their scattered clothes and put them on._

_"_ _What the bloody hell are you guys doing?"_

_The door was booted open, revealing an irritated British and a flamboyant Frenchman beside him._

_The three nations sat up solemnly in their chairs, neatly dressed and looking formally at the other two._

_"_ _Yes?" Yao smiled politely at the two._

 _"_ _We're heading out for lunch! We've been waiting for you three outside for an hour already! What've taken you wankers so long?" Arthur croaked, crossing his arms in exasperation._

 _"_ _Mon cher, calm down. It's not even a big deal," Francis said._

 _"_ _Shut up, ugly frog. I'm starving. If you guys aren't leaving anytime soon, we're going to eat first!"_

 _"_ _Aiyah_ _, no need to be so grumpy, opium." Yao stood up. "We were just having a discussion over some important issues. We'll be going now. But I think America isn't feeling that well."_

 _"_ _What?" Arthur frowned suspiciously and peeked at the blond._

_Alfred managed to put his glasses back on and cracked a laugh at the British. "I'm on a diet, Artie. I think I will pass."_

_"On a what?" The British seemed astounded but his stomach was growling. "Geez, I don't care anymore. I'm so hungry I can eat anything, even my own cooking! Let's go, frog-face."_

_Dragging Francis along with him, Arthur left the conference room in a hurry._

_"_ _Mon cher, are we going to a French restaurant~?"_

 _"_ _NO! Bloody hell! We're going to a BRITISH café!"_

 _"_ _WHAT? NO!"_

_Yao closed the door and turned back to the other two. Slumping down in his chair groggily, Alfred blurted out a despaired sigh._

_"_ _On a diet?" Ivan raised his brows at America. "My, my, you must be teasing me, Alfred."_

 _"_ _Oh shut it. It fucking hurts. You two are crazy."_

 _"_ _We'll get you back to the hotel safe and sound aru. Don't worry~" Yao smiled, taking one of America's arms. "And then, we'll eat something together aru."_

 _"_ _I can walk on my own, damn it." Alfred smacked away his hand and stood up. He started limping towards the door. "You're such a hypocrite, Yao. Even more so than Kiku and Arthur."_

 _"_ _Am I?" Yao chuckled. "Oh, you just don't understand me well enough."_

_Ignoring Alfred's rejection, he took his left arm again. Ivan followed suit, securely clasping the American's right arm._

_"_ _What the hell do you think you're doing?"_

 _"_ _We're obviously giving you a hand, da." Russia smiled sweetly at the blond._

 _"_ _I don't need any help!"_

 _"_ _Throwing a tantrum now, aren't you? You really are a troublesome kid."_

 _"_ _I'm not a child!"_

 _"_ _Well, well, well, what should we eat for lunch?" Ivan asked._

 _"_ _What do you recommend, my dear?" Yao smiled._

_Alfred was about to speak when Ivan said,"I don't know. Anything is fine but burgers. I can't stand the shit Americans call food."_

_The blond clenched his fists furiously and glared at the Russian._

_"_ _Aiyah_ _~Stop picking on him, Ivan. We'll get McDonalds', okay, Alfred?"_

_The blond stared dubiously at the Asian nation. Yao was smiling his usual cheerful smile._

_"_ _Stop pampering him da. This brat is ungrateful."_

 _"_ _You guys are planning on something again!" Alfred said, "I'm not that stupid!"_

 _"_ _What? No! If we want to conspire against you, we would've done so long ago." Ivan said, dragging the blond towards the lift._

 _"_ _True, true. We're just going to hang out for a bit." Yao smiled slyly. "Just a bit."_

**xXx**

Alfred gasped and spun up in his chair, his eyes snapping open in hollowness.

Every nation turned to stare at him in awe.

"AMERICA! What do you think you're doing napping in the middle of this important meeting?!" Germany's cry could be heard from miles away but his words could hardly get into Alfred's ears.

The blond scanned around the conference room apprehensively, his eyes falling on two persons in particular.

Russia was staring at him nonchalantly, his violet eyes completely devoid of any emotions.

China was sitting next to Russia. He was looking at the blond with concern.

Everyone else was now plunged in bemusement.

It was then Alfred realized that he was sweating badly. There were dry tear stains on his cheeks.

"Honhonhon, having a nightmare, mon cher?" France asked, "Need big brother to comfort you?"

"You git, stop falling asleep during the conference!" England growled, "And stay away from him, frog face!"

"Are you alright, America-san?" Japan asked out of politeness.

"You look a bit pale aru," China said. "I can sell you some Chinese medicine if you want~"

"Da, you probably should go wash your face, my comrade."

Alfred didn't say a word. He took a quick peep at his lower region and gulped.

"America?" Germany frowned.

"Let's call for a break, dudes!" America piped up, "I'm hungry! Yea! Be right back!"

Hurriedly, the blond trotted out of the conference room.

"Good grief." He sighed and leaned against the door of the lavatory. "That was close." He almost got caught by the others. Having a wet dream like that in the middle of a meeting was certainly outlandish.

He stared down at the bulge in his pants and grunted. Rolling his eyes, he began tending to his needs and stroking his pulsing length.

When he was done, it was almost half an hour after the meeting was adjourned. He walked out of the stall and washed his hands, splashing water on his face to clear his senses.

Another nightmare.

No, another ridiculous fantasy of his.

Why did he keep having silly dreams like this? Did he really want the two that much? Damn it! He felt so low every time to think of Russia and China that way.

A knock on the door startled him. He put on his glasses and gazed at the door.

"Are you okay, Alfred?" Yao asked, walking in with the Russian.

"Yea, why not? I'm good, dude," Alfred replied.

"You were spacing out just now," Ivan commented, unzipping his pants in front of the urinal. The blond couldn't help catching a glimpse of the rod and blushed.

"You care for some lunch aru?" Yao asked when he stood next to America and washed his hands in the sink.

"Huh?"

"We are not eating McDonalds' though." Yao giggled. "We're in England. I know it's hard to find a decent dinning place but well, I'm still not risking my life with Arthur's food. How did you manage to grow up eating all his burnt rocks anyway? I always wonder."

"Da, who knows what sort of poison England puts in his disgusting dishes," Ivan nodded in agreement, drying his hands with his trench coat.

"Are you coming then?" Yao invited cordially.

Alfred snapped out of his trance and re-focused his eyes on the Chinese man.

"Yeah, sure. That'd be nice."

"Cool. Let's go then. It's my treat today! The economy just booms!" Yao beamed, joining Ivan at the door. "And we can talk about that stupid thing Italy suggested in the meeting aru. I really think his mother dropped him on the ground while he was still a baby aru."

"Haha, you're so mean, Yao-Yao." Ivan laughed.

"No, seriously, I mean it. I think there's something wrong with his brain but then in my memory, Rome was pretty normal and not that stupid. It couldn't have been genes, right?"

"Nyet, Yao-Yao. We nations don't even have mothers!"

"Aiyah, then that must have been someone else who dropped him aru!" Yao said and spun around to glimpse the blond. "What do you think, Al?"

America pondered for a moment before chuckling nervously, "I really think we should go get something to eat right now, haha."

And with that, he scurried past the two and scooted towards the exit, leaving his companions in confusion.

"Something's off with him today." Yao rubbed his chin contemplatively, unable to think of what exactly was wrong with America.

"Maybe swine flu is finally catching him." 

"Aiya, you're so rude!"

"I'm just proposing a very reasonable explanation, da?" Ivan smiled. "He's always been a weirdo anyway."

"Was he like that when you were dating him?"

"We didn't even date." Ivan grunted. "And who do you think I am? I don't go out with a big kid, da."

"You're such a liar aru." Yao snickered.

"GUYS, ARE WE GOING TO EAT OR NOT!" the blond shouted impatiently from the distance, waving at them in the building's entrance.

"I think he's still acting pretty normal, considering all he can think of is food, food and food," Ivan quipped.

"Yea, sometimes I do wonder what else he thinks about besides food aru." Yao laughed and took the other's gloved hand. "Let's go, Ivan."


End file.
